Kindness to Parents: A Timeless Virtue in Islam

Kindness to parents is a central tenet of Islamic teachings, deeply ingrained in the faith’s moral and spiritual framework. Parents are the foundation of a child’s existence, providing love, care, and guidance from birth through adulthood. Islam emphasizes the importance of recognizing and reciprocating these sacrifices with love, respect, and unwavering support.

In the Quran, Allah commands believers to honor their parents, often coupling this obligation with the worship of Him alone. Similarly, the Hadiths of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reinforce the notion that serving and showing kindness to parents is among the most virtuous deeds a Muslim can perform.

This article explores the profound concept of kindness to parents in Islam, delving into its significance through Quranic verses and Prophetic traditions, and offering practical ways to uphold this noble duty in daily life.

The Importance of Kindness to Parents in Islam

The relationship between children and their parents is one of profound significance in Islam. Parents are not only the source of our existence but also the primary caregivers and educators during the most vulnerable years of life. As such, Islam commands children to treat their parents with respect, love, and kindness.

Quranic Emphasis on Kindness to Parents

The Quran places great emphasis on the treatment of parents, often pairing gratitude to them with gratitude to Allah. One of the most explicit verses in this regard is:

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.”
(Surah Luqman, 31:14)
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِۦ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ

Here, Allah reminds humanity of the hardships endured by mothers during pregnancy and childbirth, urging children to show gratitude toward both parents.

Another verse highlights the high status of parents:

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness…”
(Surah Al-Ankabut, 29:8)
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا ۖ وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۭ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَاۖ وَصَـٰحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًۭا

This verse instructs believers to maintain good treatment of parents even if they attempt to lead them astray, emphasizing the unconditional nature of kindness to them.

Kindness to Parents in Hadith

The sayings of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ further elaborate on the importance of treating parents with love and respect.

The Best of Deeds

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:

“I asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘Which deed is most beloved to Allah?’ He said, ‘Prayer performed on time.’ I asked, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘Kindness to parents.’ I asked, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘Jihad in the way of Allah.'”
(Sahih Bukhari 5970, Sahih Muslim 85)
سَأَلْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ: أَيُّ الْعَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ؟ قَالَ: الصَّلَاةُ عَلَى وَقْتِهَا. قُلْتُ: ثُمَّ أَيٌّ؟ قَالَ: بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ. قُلْتُ: ثُمَّ أَيٌّ؟ قَالَ: الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ

This hadith highlights that after fulfilling one’s obligations to Allah, the next most important deed is showing kindness to parents.

Paradise Lies Beneath Their Feet

The Prophet ﷺ also emphasized that serving one’s parents is a means to attain Paradise. In one narration, Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:

“A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, I want to participate in Jihad, but I have parents.’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Then strive in serving them, for that is your Jihad.'”
(Sahih Bukhari 3004, Sahih Muslim 2549)
أَتَى رَجُلٌ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَقَالَ: أَرَدْتُ أَنْ أَغْزُوَ، وَقَدْ جِئْتُ أَسْتَشِيرُكَ؟ فَقَالَ: هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُمٍّ؟ قَالَ: نَعَمْ. قَالَ: فَالْزَمْهَا، فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ عِنْدَ رِجْلَيْهَا

This narration establishes the importance of prioritizing parents’ needs over voluntary acts of worship such as Jihad.

Practical Ways to Show Kindness to Parents

Kindness to parents can take many forms, including emotional support, physical care, and financial assistance. Below are some practical ways to fulfill this duty:

Speaking Gently

Allah commands believers to speak to their parents with humility and respect:

“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'”
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:24)
وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًۭا

This verse underscores the importance of using kind and gentle words when addressing parents, avoiding any form of harshness or arrogance.

Making Dua for Them

Praying for one’s parents is a simple yet powerful way to show gratitude and love. The Quran encourages believers to supplicate for their parents:

“My Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established.”
(Surah Ibrahim, 14:41)
رَبَّنَا ٱغْفِرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَىَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ ٱلْحِسَابُ

Providing Financial Support

If parents are in need, it is the child’s responsibility to provide for them. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“You and your wealth belong to your father.”
(Sunan Ibn Majah 2291)
أَنْتَ وَمَالُكَ لِأَبِيكَ

This hadith emphasizes the moral and financial obligation a child has toward their parents.

Spending Time with Them

In today’s fast-paced world, spending quality time with parents can be a profound act of kindness. Listening to their stories, seeking their advice, and simply being present in their lives can strengthen familial bonds.

Caring for Them in Old Age

The Quran specifically mentions the importance of caring for parents in their old age:

“If one of them or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:23)
إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا

Consequences of Neglecting Parents

In Islam, neglecting or mistreating one’s parents is a serious offense with profound spiritual and worldly consequences. The relationship between children and parents is regarded as sacred, and disrespecting or failing to honor this relationship is viewed as a grave sin. The Quran and Hadith provide clear warnings about the repercussions of neglecting one’s parents.

Quranic Warnings

The Quran highlights the severity of dishonoring parents, particularly in old age. Allah commands:

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him with hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.”
(Surah Luqman, 31:14)
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِۦ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ

This verse reminds children of the immense sacrifice their parents make, particularly mothers, and emphasizes that gratitude to Allah is inherently tied to showing gratitude to one’s parents. The neglect of this duty is a form of ingratitude that distances a person from the mercy and reward of Allah.

Another verse warns against disobedience and the consequences of failing to honor one’s parents:

“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'”
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:24)
وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًۭا

This verse emphasizes humility and mercy in dealing with parents, warning that failing to treat them kindly may prevent a person from receiving Allah’s mercy.

Hadith Warnings

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ strongly condemned the act of mistreating or neglecting one’s parents. One well-known Hadith illustrates the severity of this offense:

“Shall I not inform you of the greatest of the major sins?” They said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents.”
(Sahih Bukhari 5976, Sahih Muslim 87)
أَلا أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ؟ قَالُوا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ: الْإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ

The Prophet ﷺ places disobedience to parents among the gravest of sins, alongside the unforgivable sin of shirk (associating partners with Allah).

Additionally, the Prophet ﷺ said:

“May he be humbled, may he be humbled, may he be humbled.” It was said, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “The one who has parents, both of them or one of them, in old age, and he does not enter Paradise.”
(Sahih Muslim 2551)
رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ، رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ، رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ. قِيلَ: مَنْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ؟ قَالَ: مَنِ أَدْرَكَ وَلَدَيْهِ أَوْ أَحَدَهُمَا فِي الْكِبَرِ فَلَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ

This hadith highlights the spiritual danger of neglecting one’s parents, especially when they reach old age. The Prophet ﷺ warned that such neglect could result in exclusion from Paradise.

Conclusion